Ken Dolls From The โ€™90s Who Didn’t Give A F*ck

Guys. This really happened.

Glitter Beach Ken is totally ready for Laguna. Come on West Street Beach!!

1

 

Shaving Fun Ken, however, is ready for the homeless shelter. I mean he’s not bad, but he could have been called “For Barbies who like to change men, fixxer upper Ken.”

22

 

United Color of Benetton Ken looks like way more fun than Shaving Fun Ken. There has to be some coke in one of those pockets.

grid-cell-19483-1426897761-10

 

Butterfly Art Ken was the true originator of the tramp stamp. Barbie eventually claimed this as her own and changed the correct location of the butterfly to the lower back.

grid-cell-7975-1426891453-6

 

Then there is Totally Hair Ken. I can’t. He actually looks just like an old roommate of mine who I lovingly refer to as “Failed Actor Alcoholic Who Watches Porn in the Living Room Sean.”

grid-cell-25946-1426892600-9

 

Rappin’ Rockin’ Ken. Did you know Eminem had a Ken Doll WAY before 8 Mile came out?? Plus his parachute pants match his boom box. So cute.

7

 

Then there is Earring Magic Ken. Dude. I just saw him at Mickys WeHo the other day!!

8

 

Sam

www.facebook.com/mapthemusic

www.instagram.com/thesamanthahale

www.twitter.com/mapthemusic

 

Comments 18

  1. LOL. Most delightfully funny! At least Barbie had a gay best friend. The Gaydar ping from these Ken dolls could break a wine glass.

    1. I actually own “earring magic Ken” he was recalled soon after production because he looked “too gay”. Look closely… He’s got what looks like a cockring hanging around his neck and another clipped to his lavender vest… Gotta have a spare.

    1. I totally had Derek! I thought he was so handsome at the time & everything I thought a man should be… Needless to say, my gaydar sucks to this day!

  2. I owned half of these growing up. And my parents wondered why my Barbies always made out with each other–even a little girl could see Ken clearly wasn’t interested.

  3. Earring Magic Ken is totally wearing a cock ring as a necklace. My BFF bought one back in the day and still has him in the original packaging

  4. ha ha I was in my 20’s and had all the Rappin’ Barbies- of course the sister girls boom box had the best beat

Leave a Reply to Woodrow Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *